Who's In Control?

One morning I woke up, and I did not roll out of bed. I hit snooze, and then I hit snooze again. I wanted the day to go back to sleep so I would not have to deal with it. My life felt like it was out of control. I wanted to call in sick to work just so I wouldn't have to leave the safety and comfort of my warm, unchallenging, unchanging, (horribly structured), Vera Wang bed.

I had everything I wanted, or so I thought. I had the bachelor's degree I wanted from UW-Stout, I had the Graphic Design degree I wanted from DCTC. I had the husband I had wanted so desperately since I was able to realize people loved and got married, and I had the house that I picked out, I took care of, and I could call my own. It seemed that the only decisions left were, where do I want to go with my career, do I want kids, and where should we go on vacation if we choose to go? Yet despite all of the above, I did not want to deal with the perfectly beautiful day I had been blessed with.

Eventually I dragged myself out of bed and forced myself to get up and go to work, where I would contemplate my life day in and day out. Something was wrong, and needed to change. I could not remain the person I was, if I wanted to live a happy and fulfilling life. Six months later, I had lost my husband, lost my house, and lost my (horribly structured) Vera Wang bed. The verdict was change.

Though I lost the status of wife, home owner, and (horribly structured) Vera Wang bed owner, I am free to do whatever I want, and to make my own decisions and growth. I have already taken a step further into adulthood. I am forced to challenge myself and to make decisions I have never had to make before. I know more about money, and how I want to spend my time, than I ever did before, because I'm in control of my life.

While there are still many things to figure out about myself and my future, I realize that this is part of the adventure of life. Life is a game. We play it through to the end, and we shouldn't take it too seriously because a new round will begin after this one ends.