Say It

Say that you want me,
say you'll never let me go,
say you won't do me,
like the one before you.
Tell me you need me,
you could want no one else,
you love me with all your heart,
we'll never be apart.

When the road gets bumpy,
and I know not where I'm going
say you're here with me,
it doesn't matter,
as long as we're together.
Say you'll hold my hand
and make me feel better,
no matter the weather.

Stop me from going crazy,
from running away,
from going in circles,
with my life on display.
from hurting myself,
from hurting you.
Say that you want me,
nothing else you can do.

Who's In Control?

One morning I woke up, and I did not roll out of bed. I hit snooze, and then I hit snooze again. I wanted the day to go back to sleep so I would not have to deal with it. My life felt like it was out of control. I wanted to call in sick to work just so I wouldn't have to leave the safety and comfort of my warm, unchallenging, unchanging, (horribly structured), Vera Wang bed.

I had everything I wanted, or so I thought. I had the bachelor's degree I wanted from UW-Stout, I had the Graphic Design degree I wanted from DCTC. I had the husband I had wanted so desperately since I was able to realize people loved and got married, and I had the house that I picked out, I took care of, and I could call my own. It seemed that the only decisions left were, where do I want to go with my career, do I want kids, and where should we go on vacation if we choose to go? Yet despite all of the above, I did not want to deal with the perfectly beautiful day I had been blessed with.

Eventually I dragged myself out of bed and forced myself to get up and go to work, where I would contemplate my life day in and day out. Something was wrong, and needed to change. I could not remain the person I was, if I wanted to live a happy and fulfilling life. Six months later, I had lost my husband, lost my house, and lost my (horribly structured) Vera Wang bed. The verdict was change.

Though I lost the status of wife, home owner, and (horribly structured) Vera Wang bed owner, I am free to do whatever I want, and to make my own decisions and growth. I have already taken a step further into adulthood. I am forced to challenge myself and to make decisions I have never had to make before. I know more about money, and how I want to spend my time, than I ever did before, because I'm in control of my life.

While there are still many things to figure out about myself and my future, I realize that this is part of the adventure of life. Life is a game. We play it through to the end, and we shouldn't take it too seriously because a new round will begin after this one ends.

How Long Is Too Long?

I've been away from this blog for some time now. I couldn't get my work to post so I gave up. Today is a new day, and I thought I'd try again. If this goes through, new thoughts, and work will soon be posted.